Combatting Negative Thoughts:
A Guide for the Working Mom
Wellness
BY LINDA FORBES-THOMPSON
Balancing the roles of motherhood, career, and personal life often feels like a high-wire act—nurturing children, managing a household, and excelling professionally. For many working mothers, the pressure to perform flawlessly in every aspect can lead to a relentless onslaught of self-doubt and negative thinking. These mental challenges can chip away at our confidence, leaving us feeling inadequate across the board. However, it's crucial to recognise that these thoughts are not an inescapable reality but rather mental habits that can be changed. Life Coach & Author Linda Forbes-Thompson gives us her expertise on how to do just that;
Imagine a typical day: you're multitasking at home and work, trying to meet deadlines and family needs simultaneously. Amidst this whirlwind of activity, your personal needs often sink to the bottom of your endless to-do list. It is in these overwhelming moments that negative thoughts can surface like uninvited critics at a performance, heckling and undermining your self-esteem. Yet, just as a leak can be repaired with the right tools, so too can these damaging thought patterns be mended.
The first step to changing this dynamic is to acknowledge the profound influence our thoughts have on our well-being. Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs), such as 'mind-reading', catastrophising, and harsh self-comparisons, are particularly pervasive. They slip quietly into our psyche and paint our world in shades of grey. Recognising these patterns is akin to spotting a heckler in the crowd—you can’t silence what you haven’t identified.
Now, consider if these negative thoughts were like a disparaging friend who follows you around, critiquing your every decision. Would you allow such negativity to go unchecked, or would you confront and dismiss these harsh judgments? The choice seems clear when framed this way. By writing down when these thoughts arise and what triggers them, you begin to see these patterns more clearly. This process not only externalises your thoughts but allows you to confront them from a distance, assessing their validity with a clearer perspective.
One powerful method to counteract this negativity is to question whether you would ever speak to someone else the way your internal critic speaks to you. Would you tell a friend she's failing across all aspects of her life? Unlikely. Instead, you'd likely offer support and highlight her strengths. Applying this kindness to ourselves can shift our internal dialogue from one of criticism to one of encouragement.
While it may seem daunting to carve out time for mental self-care amidst a packed schedule, prioritising our psychological health is essential. It's not merely an indulgence but a crucial investment that enhances our ability to manage life's demands with resilience and positivity. Remember, you cannot draw water from an empty well; nurturing your mental and emotional reserves is key to maintaining balance and vitality.
By taking even small steps towards recognising and reforming our thought patterns, we empower ourselves to lead happier, more balanced lives. Let’s endeavour to silence our inner critic with kindness, patience, and self-love, and watch how our world changes for the better.